Broken Hearts and Lost Souls
by CPDRuzekFan
Summary: Burzek Ten minutes. Ten minutes changed everything..
1. Chapter 1

_Life had order._

 _You lived._

 _You died._

 _You filled in the gaps with various life events, the luckiest of souls found their other half and lived the journey together. Facing the ups and downs of life together, if you were really lucky you were blessed with children._

 _These tiny little people that you loved from the second you learned of their existence. You didn't need to see them, or know their gender. It didn't matter, as soon as that little stick read 'pregnant' you were head over heels in love._

 _It was all consuming._

 _You'd do anything for that perfect little person. You'd gladly give your life for theirs. You'd do all you could to protect them, you'd chase the nightmares away, kiss the skinned knees, you'd do anything to ease their pain._

 _There was nothing more terrifying than sending your child out into the world, a world that could be cruel. You spend hours prepping your child on stranger danger and peer pressure. You tell them all the ways the world can hurt them, maybe you even instill a little bit of fear in them._

 _Scare them straight._

 _Never once do you think you'd be the reason they're gone._

 _That you had failed your child._

 _That you were the one your child needed to be wary of._

 _Never once did it cross your mind that you'd be the reason your child was gone._

 _It went against the order of things, a parent wasn't supposed to bury their child._

 _Yet here you stood, staring at the smallest coffin you had ever laid eyes on. A line of people offering their condolences, their faces distorted. Their voices monotone, and each one indistinguishable from the last._

 _You want to rage at the world, you want to scream._

 _You want the one thing you can't have._

 _You want your baby back._

 _You want to go back in time and hold on a little tighter, you want to hold your child in your arms just one more time. Kiss their precious face and tell them how much you love them._

 _You can't._

 _Instead you hope the ground will open up and swallow you whole._

 _You want to fix your wife's broken heart, you want to wipe her tears away. You want to comfort your remaining children, tell them it will be okay._

 _That's a fucking lie._

 _It will never be okay._

 _You killed your child_

 _Your innocent child._

He lived for days like this, he had sent his wife out for a day of pampering and he was thrilled to hit the park with the kids. The winter had been long and cold, as a kid he lived for the first sign of spring, it was without a doubt his favorite time of year. He hated the summer, it was far too hot for his liking. The winter was awful, it was always so dreary and the snow was a serious pain in the ass. Sure, the occasional snow day was fun, but it wasn't long before the snow became a slushy brown mess.

He had big plans for today, he had been working some crazy hours as of late and he hadn't seen the kids as much as he would've liked. Today he was going to make up for that, he knew the kids understood that his job was important, but so were they. He was going to make sure they knew that, that despite his crazy hours he would do his best to spend time with them. Meaningful time, time spent making memories.

"Dad," Max sat on the arm of the couch, "Can we go to the park..you know the one with the skate park in it." Max was eleven and he had become obsessed with skate boarding, an activity that made his mother cringe. The kid wasn't what one would call coordinated but damn if he didn't love it.

"Ah, man. I dunno. Mom's not crazy about that park." He had heard it from his wife enough to know she'd rather their son didn't have a skateboard. She had finally given in an allowed him to purchase a board with his birthday money. She made it abundantly clear that he wasn't to go to the skatepark, at least not yet anyway. Though, unbeknownst to his wife Max had a gone a few times already.

"You took me a few weeks ago."

"Yes, I did. Max, but your mom doesn't know that. You know what she's like." He knew it was just a matter of time before it came back and bit him in the ass.

"I won't tell her." Max pleaded, "Please, dad." He dropped to his knees in front of his dad, "I'll do whatever you want. Clean the bathroom. Eat vegetables, anything at all. Come on, please?"

He took a deep breath, "I dunno. Your brother and sister will be bored."

"Nu-Huh, they have the big playset. Caleb loves it. Charlie loves it too." Max wrapped his arms around his dad's waist, "Please!"

"Fine" he sighed, "You've got to promise to be careful, okay? Your mom will kill me if you get hurt. I mean it Max, you've got to be careful.

"Yes!" He pumped his fist in excitement, "I'm always careful. I'll get my board."

"It's mine!" eight year old Caleb snarled as he grabbed the last cookie on the plate.

Charlie's eyes filled with water, her bottom lip quivered just a bit. She was four and the princess of the family, neither of the boys would admit it but Charlotte held a special place in their hearts.

Caleb watched as the tears spilled down his little sister's cheeks, "You can have it. My tummy is kinda full anyway." He handed the cookie to her, "Don't cry."

"Thank you bubby" Charlie wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, "you want a piece?"

"Sure."

Well if that didn't make his heart swell with pride, he tousled Caleb's hair, "That was nice of you buddy. Makes daddy proud." He kissed his head, "You too Charlie, how about we stop for ice cream on the way home. That sound good?"

"Sundaes?" Caleb asked.

"You know it."

The park was on the other side of town, but it was a favorite. On a good day it was about a thirty minute drive, but it was well worth it. All of the equipment had been updated a few months back, and it had a fitness track on the outskirts of the play area. The skatepark was on the outside of the track, it was a nice setup. He had a strong line of vision to the play set in one direction and the skate park the other. He'd be able to get a little cardio in as the kids played.

He sat the younger two at a park bench as he filled out paperwork for Max to start skating, "Max, take it easy okay? No big jumps, not yet. Stick to what you've been practicing. You've got an hour."

"Okay. Thanks dad." He smiled, dodging his father's hug, "c'mon..the big kids are watching."

"Alright" he held his hands up, "No hug. Fist bump?"

Max rolled his eyes, "You're weird."

"So are you" Adam knocked on his helmet, "Don't be a wild man, okay?"

"Bye dad." Max shook his head and took off, finding a group of friends by the half pipe.

He watched his boy for a few minutes, his son was so much like him it was uncanny. It never ceased to amaze him, wether it was the way he walked or the sly smirk he often wore. He just hoped that his boy wouldn't cause him the same stress that he had put his parents through.

"This is lovely.." she had her eyes closed and was throughly enjoying the massage she was receiving, "amazing actually."

"You seem really tense.." the masseuse noted, "you've got quite a few knots in your shoulders"

She chuckled a bit, "Yes. I like to call those Max and Caleb. My boys. They're a handful and a half..still not as bad as their daddy though" she sighed, "he's a bigger kid than them sometimes."

"I know all about that. My husband is the same. I tell everyone I have three kids. My twins and my husband."

He watched as Caleb helped Charlie across the suspension bridge, it was pretty sweet watching them together, despite their propensity for fighting they really did love each other.

"Your phone is ringing" the masseuse pointed to the iPhone on the small table. She picked it up and handed it to her client, "Here."

After a quick glance at the caller ID she put it on silent and handed it over, "No interruptions. It's my day." She smiled, "No phone calls, no texts. Just relaxation." It wasn't often they splurged on spa days, so she was determined to make every minute of it count.

"Watch daddy!" Charlie called out, "I can pump my legs so fast." Her sandy blonde hair whipping around as the wind blew.

"Great job, baby. You're doing great." He replied.

"Caleb showed me. I can go so high. It tickles my tummy. I love it. It's fun" she rambled.

Max watched as one of the boys perfected a jump, he had spent most of the hour with an older group of boys and was feeling a bit adventurous and some peer pressure. The last thing he wanted to do in front of the older boys was wuss out. He grabbed his board and climbed the flight of stairs, perching himself on the edge of the half pipe. He adjusted the straps on his helmet, pulling it tighter against his chin.

He closed his eyes briefly, as he opened them he took off down the pipe.

There was no turning back, he just hoped he wouldn't wipe out.

"Caleb, Charlie!" He called out, "Ten more minutes okay"

"Sure dad." Caleb replied, "I'm gonna swing, you coming Charlie?" His little sister sat on the side of the sandbox.

She dropped the shovel, "Yes. Will you help me start? It takes too long to go high."

His phone buzzed on the table, "Careful you two." He kept an eye on them as he answered "Ruzek"

"Hi , its Zack from the skate park, I'm calling about Max."

Adam felt his stomach drop, "What's wrong?"

"He fell."

Adam was fucked, "I will be right there, I'm still in the park" he didn't allow for the kid's reply he ended the call and jogged off to the swings, "Alright you two, we need to go."

"Why?" Caleb whined, "You said we had more time."

Adam groaned, "I know I did. I'm sorry, Caleb. Your brother fell. We need to go see if he's okay."

"I can stay here." Caleb announced, "on the swings. Me and Charlie can stay while you get Max." He was certainly his mother's child, he was stubborn as could be and always trying to get a few more minutes out of an activity.

Adam glanced over his shoulder, the skate park wasn't that far away and he had a clear shot of the swings the kids were playing on, he kneeled down in front of his son, "Okay. You can stay. I need you to stay right here, you and Charlie both. Do you understand?"

"I do." Caleb replied, "I promise I won't go anywhere."

Adam moved to Charlie, "What about you princess, you'll listen to Caleb and wait for me, right?"

"Yes Daddy."

He took one last glance at his younger kids, "Alright. I will be right back. Stay here."

 ** _So much for a break, here's the first of a two parter._**


	2. Chapter 2

_There were moments in life when time stood still, when the simplest and softest of sounds seemed to explode around, your senses heightened. Where life took on a surreal feel, almost as if you were watching your life unfold from another dimension._

 _A moment that was forever ingrained in you, a moment that you couldn't escape. A moment that you replayed in your head...over and over again. Trying to pinpoint the exact moment things went sideways. It was stupid to do so, but you couldn't stop yourself._

 _It was pointless, it wouldn't change a thing. There was no 'do over' no 'taking it back', the damage was done._

 _It was catastrophic._

 _It was permanent._

 _It was final._

 _It was death._

 _His child had died._

Kim pulled the terrycloth robe around her body, it was luxurious and she hated to leave. It was why she jumped at the offer to add on a mani-pedi. It wasn't easy caring for her children and continuing to work full time. The boys seemed to have always have something going on, some days she felt as if she lived in her car. Driving all over Chicago, Max was her soccer player and he had made the travel team which meant three practices a week and at least two games a week. Caleb was involved with the cub scouts and he played baseball. It was often Kim and Charlotte who watched from the sidelines cheering on their boys.

It she wasn't running the boys around town it was Charlotte, she had been in gymnastics for two years now, she had started when she turned two and loved it. It had only just recently started to become a bit more serious. When she first started it was mostly learning to follow directions and have a bit of fun, now she was learning to use the different equipment it had the potential to become something more than just having fun. They also added dance classes to the mix, she was enrolled in ballet and tap. She loved it, Charlotte Ruzek loved the spotlight, perhaps even more than her brothers did.

Adam did his best to make the boys' games and sometimes he could only get away from work for about thirty minutes, he'd make sure the boys knew he was there and he'd demand Kim record as much of the game as she could.

He hated it, hated missing so much of their lives. He made sure the time they did get to spend together counted.

Adam's crazy hours left the heavy lifting to Kim.

Her patrol shift was set in stone a rarity for someone in her position for sure, and she had Trudy Platt to thank. Kim appreciated it, it was a relief knowing that she'd be home at a decent hour.

She wouldn't change any of it, it was chaos but it was her chaos. Her's and Adam's and it was perfect.

It was exhaustingly perfect.

So, yes she'd take that complimentary mani-pedi.

His heart was racing, thudding against his rib cage as he ran towards the skate park. Relief washed over him as soon as he spotted Max sitting hunched over on a chair just outside the office.

He was upright and conscious.

Max was okay.

Adam hunched over and tried to settle his racing heart.

"Look!" Charlie pointed across the park, "Its a dog, Caleb. He's cute!" She was obsessed with dogs at the moment. She was desperate for a puppy of her own, but with all the coming and going it wasn't the right time for one. Thankfully Kevin had one and for now that seemed to appease her, she loved going to Kevin's to play with the mutt.

"Cool" Caleb replied half-heartedly. He wasn't nearly as impressed with the dog as his little sister was.

"Sorry dad" Max mumbled.

Adam crouched down in front of him his hands on Max's thighs, "What happened buddy?"

Max shrugged a bit, "I tried to do the pipe. I didn't think I'd fall." His eyes filled with tears, "Are you mad?

Adam shook his head, "No. Not at all. Where does it hurt?"

"My wrist." Max held his hand up, "I landed on it kinda funny."

Adam looked up at the attendant "Can you get him some ice?"

"They did." Max grabbed the ice pack, "its cold."

Adam smirked, "Ice generally is son." He moved to sit beside him, taking his son's injured wrist in his hands, "Can you move it?"

"Little bit." Max rotated his hand, "Mom's gonna be mad isn't she?"

Adam bobbed his head up and down, "Absolutely. Not at you though. She will be angry with me."

"I'm sorry." Max said once more, "I thought I could do it."

"Don't worry bud." Adam grabbed the skateboard, "Lets go."

" we need you to sign the accident report. My manage has it in his office." The attendant opened the door to the small building.

Adam paused, "Umm.." he glanced at the park, his kids had moved from the swings to a patch of grass, "It'll be quick right? My younger two are over on the playground."

"Yes, sir. The paperwork is filled out already. We just need your signature, that way Max can come back to skate."

Adam laughed, "Highly unlikely once my wife finds out." He followed the teenager inside.

"So, you just have the two boys?" She was never one to be comfortable with silence while she worked. Some of her co-workers relished the silence, not her she would talk the ears of her clients. She didn't care if they responded it or not, conversation even if it was one sided helped to put her at ease.

Kim shook her head, "No, I've got a little girl as well. She's four almost five. She's also the princess of the house, my boys adore her and my husband is putty in her hands. It's funny because my sons weren't pleased when they learned she was a girl, they cried for hours. Now, they can't get enough of her, it's cute to watch."

"Must be nice, my twins are always at each other's throats over something, I'm still shocked they didn't kill each other in utero" she laughed.

"Oh no, they fight. Constantly." Kim replied, "Some days I feel more like a referee than I do a mom."

"Mommy-ing it ain't easy"

"Preach it."

Sirens wailed in the distance.

"Do I have to go the doctor?" Max asked. His wrist had swelled some and it was a bit tender to the touch.

"I don't know." Adam answered, his gut churning. He felt as if his skin was crawling, he scanned the playground, "Do you see your bother or sister?"

Max shrugged, "No."

"Shit." Adam cursed.

"Dad?"

"Back up!" A voice boomed, "back away from her!" He had pushed his way through the crowd that had surrounded the little girl. He had seen it all go down and he was powerless to stop it. He was waiting for his daughter and grandchildren to arrive, he had kept an eye on the parking lot hoping to spot his daughter's car as soon as it arrived.

She had come out of nowhere and ran right into the path of the SVU as pulled into the lot, it had to have been going thirty maybe forty miles an hour faster than the posted speed limit. He wasn't sure it would've made a difference, the girl had just appeared and the driver may not have even seen her.

The impact was horrific, the sound of her body landing on the concrete turned his blood cold.

The screams of the boy with her had been just as sickening.

He was distraught.

The crowd gathering around them was almost instantaneous, the little boy fighting against a woman who tried to keep him from going to the little girl's side, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Saul repeated his demand, "Back up now! I'm a doctor." He told them. He kneeled down, he placed his fingers on her neck, hoping to feel even the slightest sign of life. He held his breath as he waited, "She's got a pulse." It was barely noticeable but it had given him hope.

"Dad..look!" Max pointed across the park to the crowd in the parking lot, "Something happened over there. Maybe Caleb and Charlie went to check it out."

"Maybe.." Adam mumbled, he had faced down cold blooded killers, he had charged into violent crowds, but they didn't scare him. This had him fucking terrified, he had no idea what the hell was going on but he knew it involved his kids.

He knew it in his gut.

"Daddy!" Caleb screamed breaking free of the woman's hold when he spotted Adam, "Daddy!"

Adam opened his arms to him, "Buddy...Where's Charlie? Where's your sister?" Panic rising in his chest, "where's my baby girl?"

"I'm sorry daddy..I'm so sorry!" He cried burying his face in Adam's side.

"Dad.." Max mumbled, "there's Charlie" he pointed to the group of people surrounding his little sister, he had spotted her on the ground, "She's hurt."

Adam fought his way through the crowd, a police officer stopping him, "You need to back up Sir. Let the paramedics work." He put his hand in Adam's chest.

"That's my little girl!" Adam screamed pushing the officer away, "What happened?" He fell to his knees beside Charlie, her face was red and raw from the hitting the road. Her breathing was shallow and labored, he gingerly touched her head, "Daddy's here princess, I love you."

"She came out of nowhere..I didn't see her!" The driver exclaimed, "My god..I didn't see her.." he sobbed, "I'm so sorry...is she dead? Did I kill her?"

Adam whipped his head around, "Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!" He screamed, he could hear the panicked cries of his sons. "Charlie! Baby it's daddy...please baby.."

"We need to go" the medic told him, "You can ride with us."

Adam nodded his head, he stood up and waited as they loaded Charlotte into the ambulance, he turned to the boys, "Ride with the patrol officer" he used the back of his hand to wipe his eyes, "Charlie will be okay, don't worry. You know how tough she is."

The boys huddled together watching as the ambulance pulled away.

Adam was greeted by the boys as soon as he jumped out of the back of the ambulance, he gathered them in his arms and followed Charlie as they maneuvered her stretcher into the ER.

It had taken all of his strength to allow the doctors to take Charlie into the back, if his boys weren't beside him he surely would've fallen to his knees in tears, he had to be strong for them.

"Daddy is she okay?" Caleb asked.

Adam picked his boy up, he may have been eight years old and too big to hold but he could see the terror in his eyes. "What happened?"

He moved to sit down with Caleb in his lap, "I'm sorry daddy! Charlie saw a dog..she chased it, I told her to stop but she didn't listen. They went in the parking lot. I'm sorry!" He sobbed uncontrollably, "I want mommy!"

"Shh..Caleb, it's not your fault." Nope it wasn't Caleb's fault, it was his. He had left his kids alone, he had put the wheels into motion. He had done this.

" , can we call someone for you?" A woman asked.

Adam read the badge hanging around her neck, she was a social worker with the hospital, "My wife. Kim." He didn't have the strength to make the call himself. He didn't think he could find the words, he was struggling just to breathe.

"Okay. Anyone else?"

"I don't think so." Adam replied.

It had been nearly an hour and they hadn't heard anything, calls to Kim had gone unanswered and Adam was barely holding it together.

A nurse approached him, "I understand your son hurt his wrist, the doctor has ordered an X-ray."

Max clung to Adam, "No, I don't wanna go."

Adam grabbed the back of his neck, "You need to go buddy, we need to make sure it's not broken."

"Will you come?"

"I can't buddy." Adam kissed his forehead, "I need to wait here for Charlie's doctor. I need you to be brave ok? Can you do that?"

Max took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, "Okay. I love you daddy."

"I love you too buddy."

Kevin raced through the doors, "Yo! Adam!"

Adam jumped up, "My baby.." he fell into Kevin's arms unable to keep the tears at bay any longer, "I can't lose her..."

Kevin held him with one arm, and used his free hand to pull Caleb into his side, "What do you need me to do?" He asked when Adam managed to pull himself together.

"Umm.." Adam sighed, "Kim. She's at the spa, she's not answering her phone. I can't leave..."

"I will go." Kevin announced, "What else can I do. You want me to take the boys?"

Adam shook him off, "No. I need them with me. Can you call Al?"

"Yes. Absolutely. I love you man. Call me as soon as you know something."

Adam hugged him, "Take care of Kim for me..tell her I love her."

Adam jumped up when he saw Max walking towards him, his hand wrapped, "Its not broken, just a nasty contusion and a slight sprain" the doctor told Adam, "He's good to go. Just follow up in a few weeks with an othro."

"Thank you." Adam nodded somberly, he wrapped his arms around Max, "You okay?"

Max mumbled something incoherent and Adam tightened his hold.

Kevin burst through the doors, "I need Kim Ruzek" he shouted, flashing his badge, "Where is she?"

"She should be right out, she was just getting dressed" a woman behind the desk told him.

"Kevin?" Kim was taken aback, "What are you doing here?"

"Your phone off?"

"No, I silenced it. What's going on?" She grabbed her phone, shocked by the amount of missed calls and voicemails, "Kevin..."

Kevin grabbed her waist, "Kim, there's been an accident. It's Charlotte. Kim, she was hit by a car."

Kim felt her legs give way, "My baby..."

Kevin held her up, "Lets go."

Adam watched as life continued to go on around him, people went on as his world seemed frozen in time, he was flanked by his boys. His sons terrified, he felt helpless. He couldn't do a damn thing for his kids and he hated it, he hated himself.

He had done this.

"Mommy!" Caleb shrieked, running to her, "Charlie got hit by a car mommy."

Kim fought back a sob, "I know baby. I know." She held on to him as tightly as he would allow, "I know."

Max barreled into them, "I'm scared mommy."

Max very rarely referred to her as 'mommy', she could see the fear in his eyes. She ignored the bandage on his hand, Kevin had explained what had happened.

She broke free of the boys and rushed to Adam, "How is she?"

Adam wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her neck sobbing in her arms.

Kim rubbed his back, "Adam.."

Adam pulled back, "Darlin'..."

"Adam.." the doctor approached them.

Kim knew it, she knew in that moment her little girl was gone. She didn't need the doctor to tell her, she felt it in her soul.

"I'm so sorry..."

It had been hours since they learned of their daughter's death. Her injuries had been many and severe, she had fought like hell for each breath but it had been too much for her little body to handle.

They sat with Charlotte for as long as possible before they had to take her away, Kim wanted to memorize every inch of her, every freckle she wanted to hold her baby once more.

It had been gut wrenching to watch the boys as they told their sister goodbye for the last time, each boy ignoring the tears that ran down their face.

 _Al opened the door slowly, "Hey. I've got the boys are you ready for them?" He kept his eyes focused on Adam, he didn't dare turn his head to look at Charlie, he couldn't bare to see her. He had to be strong for Adam and Kim, they had been so strong for him when he lost Lexi. He needed to do the same for them._

 _Adam nodded his head, "Yeah. I guess. Do they know?" He asked. He wasn't sure he was strong enough to tell them._

 _"They don't." Al hugged him, "I'm so sorry Adam." He looked at Kim, she sat staring at her daughter, Charlie's hands clutched in hers._

 _"I can't..." Adam mumbled, "I can't do this." He dropped to his knees._

 _Al grabbed him, "You can Adam, I know you can. I won't let you fall, kid. I'm here with you every step of the way, okay? I will tell the boys." He didn't want to do it, but it needed to be done and he wasn't going to leave Adam and Kim alone._

 _He stepped into the hallway, "C'mon in fellas."_

 _"Mom?" Caleb whimpered, "Is Charlie okay?" He stood beside the bed, "I told her not to go..she didn't listen, mommy. Why didn't she listen to me?"_

 _Kim grabbed him and pulled him into her lap, "I don't know baby, it's not your fault okay? It's no one's fault it was an accident. An awful, terrible accident." She pushed the hair from his eyes, "Charlie loves you so much, you know that right?"_

 _He nodded, "She's hurt bad?" He looked between his parents, "Or is she hurt a little bit, like Max's wrist."_

 _Max was fixated on his sister, his eyes focused on Charlie. "she's dead...isn't she?"_

 _Al watched as Kim dissolved into tears, wrapping Caleb in her arms, he heard Adam grunt as he tried to keep from crying._

 _"Max-Man" Al placed his hand on the boy's shoulder, "I'm so sorry. Charlie is gone. She tried to hold on, she fought with all she had...it just wasn't enough."_

 _"No! I hate you! You're lying to me!" He pushed at Al's chest, "No! She can't be.." he gasped for air, "she's dead?" Max asked again, "I love her..she can't be dead. She's just a little kid. Little kids don't die."_

 _Al grabbed him and held on tight as he thrashed in his arms, the more Max fought against him the tighter Al held on. He held on until he felt Max relax in his arms, his cries soaking through Al's shirt. "I'm so sorry Max, so sorry. We all loved Charlie, she was an amazing little girl. We will all miss her."_

 _Max pushed out of his arms and raced to Kim's side, "Mommy.."_

 _Adam found his footing and joined his wife and sons._

 _Al rubbed Adam's back before leaving the room, allowing them to grieve in private._

Neither of them wanted to leave with Kevin, but they did as their 'Uncle Al' asked.

Al wasn't quite ready to leave, no one really was. They had taken Charlie's body to the morgue just a short while ago, leaving an inconsolable Kim and Adam behind.

Their hearts broken.

Their family broken.

Saying their goodbyes that awful night had been hard, but what followed was infinitely harder.

You go through life knowing one day you will have to plan a funeral for your parents and that was awful. As awful as it was it was expected, it was just the way things worked. It didn't make it any easier but you expected it. It was the natural order of things.

This was not.

This was a living nightmare, this was enough to break a person.

They agonized over coffins, and burial plots.

Was it to be an open casket or closed?

Decisions no parent should ever have to make.

Somehow how they made it through it, they made the decisions that no one ever wanted to make.

After Kim had a horrific nightmare, she had insisted on having their daughter cremated.

Adam struggled with her decision, he was struggling just to put one foot in front of the next and when Kim demanded cremation he fell apart. Screaming that he wouldn't 'burn' his daughter.

It had taken Kevin and Al both to calm him, the boys looked on in absolute fear as their father crumbled before them.

Their superhero dad fell apart and they watched as Al and Kevin struggled to pick up the pieces.

The boys had their own struggles with guilt, it was heartbreaking to listen to Caleb apologize profusely for letting Charlie wander off, he sobbed for hours in Kevin's arms.

Max hated himself, he took all of the blame. He had fallen and that had pulled Adam from the younger kids, and in Max's eyes it was all his fault. When he fell of that pipe he had set everything in motion. Kim had been the one to find him in the garage, he had taken a hammer to the skateboard. He sobbed in her arms, ' _I hate that fucking skateboard'_ he screamed, _'I want Charlie back mommy, I want her back_ ' he cried as she held him.

None of their guilt held a candle to Adam's.

He hated himself for leaving his kids behind that day. Had he insisted they join him he'd still have his little girl. His princess.

He shut everyone out.

He stood rigidly at the front of the church during Charlotte's funeral, greeting each person as they said their goodbyes to his little girl. They had decided on a pink coffin for the service, choosing to have it remain closed. Adam stood by her side until the very last minute, he sobbed as the funeral home workers loaded it up in the back of the hearse.

They drove off with his daughter and his heart.

He disappeared shortly after that.

Without a word to anyone.

He vanished.

He needed to get away from everyone, he was blinded by grief and guilt. He needed an out, and he took it.

Adam found himself at the parking lot, the last place he held his daughter when she was alive. Her body battered and bloodied but alive, he longed for her. He ached for her.

He had never experience a pain like this before, he was lost. His heart broken and his soul lost. He was nothing without his little girl.

The park had become a memorial of sorts. Flowers, teddy bears, and candles had been placed where his daughter was hit. Left by complete strangers, their friends and family had left flowers and cards. He sobbed as he read each hand written note, none hitting him harder than the ones left by his boys.

Their baby sister was gone.

They struggled to hold it together, trying so hard to be strong for their mother.

He couldn't live without his little girl.

It had been Kim who had found him. She knew where he would be.

She had been the one to save him.

Kim had been the one to convince him to put the gun down.

 _She felt her heart jump in her throat as she approached the parking lot, her instincts told her she'd find him here. She had, but she never expected to see the gun in his hands._

 _"Adam" She approached him, placing her hand on his shoulder. "Honey..I was so worried."_

 _"Why?" Adam asked, his eyes never leaving the gun in his hands, "you shouldn't worry about me. I don't deserve it.."_

 _"Baby.." she moved to touch his cheek, only for him to push her hand away, "Adam..."_

 _"Don't!" He shouted, "don't touch me! Don't comfort me!" He seethed, he jumped to his feet and began pacing, his hands flailing wildly, "I did this! I'm the reason she's gone!"_

 _Kim watched him closely, "No! You didn't, Adam. It was an accident, an awful accident." She was struggling to maintain her composure, "Baby, look at me..please, Adam. It was an accident."_

 _Adam stopped on a dime, "I left her!" His face was twisted in an anguish, tears streaming down his cheeks. He brought his hand to his face, wiping his tears away. Kim focused on the hand that held the gun, the hand that held the power to end it all._

 _"You went to check on Max. She and Caleb were safe, baby. You were just across the field, Adam. You had no idea...we both have left them before. To run to the car, or the bathroom. Turned our back to make a phone call...you didn't know, Adam. You did nothing wrong." She stood at an arm's length she knew the slightest movement could set Adam off._

 _"Tell that to Charlotte! I'm her daddy, I was supposed to keep her safe!" He brought the gun to his temple, "I'm so sorry, baby..daddy's sorry!" His entire body was shaking, he was inconsolable. "I'm so fucking sorry.." he slammed his eyes shut, and Kim made her move._

 _"Adam!" Kim screamed rushing to him, she threw her body at his pushing his hand away, knocking his hand down "Baby, I love you! Adam, I need you..the boys need you...please Adam, please don't do this!" She held on to his face, "Look at me! Adam, look at me!" She needed him to see her, to see that his pain was her pain, to see that she loved him. "Max and Caleb need you, they lost their sister, don't let them lose their father."_

 _He fought against her, "I can't breathe without her...I can't do this.." Adam braced himself against the building, "I can't do it.." he slid down the wall, falling to the ground in a heap, the gun still in his hand._

 _Kim sat beside him, pulling him into her arms "Me either baby! It's hard, it's so hard without our little girl, but our boys need you! I need you! Please baby, let me have the gun. Give me the gun Adam..."_

 _He handed it to her, "I'm sorry...Kim, I'm so sorry." He lost it, his body convulsing as each heart breaking sob tore through him._

 _"I know. I know. Let's go home." Kim held on as tightly as she could._

 ** _Well, a two part story is now three parts._**


	3. Chapter 3

Max had spent the last hour or so tossing and turning in bed, desperate to fall back to sleep but it was impossible. He kicked the covers off, grabbed a t-shirt and tossed it over his head.

He picked up the picture from his desk, it was his favorite picture of his little sister. It was one of the last pictures they had taken of Charlie and he adored it. She was sitting on his skateboard, pulling a ridiculously silly face for the camera. The kind of face that used to drive his mother crazy, her tongue was sticking out and she was pulling her ears away from her head her eyes crossed. A face their dad used to make all the time, he missed those days.

He missed Charlie.

He missed a lot. He felt as if he had lived two lives, a life with Charlie and a life without her.

His dad wasn't the same, he was trying though Max knew that much. Sometimes if he really looked at his dad, he'd catch a glimpse of how he used to be. He longed for those moments however brief they were.

Max had overheard his mom talking to his uncle Al just a few days after the funeral she had no idea was listening from the living room.

 _'I need you to help him, Al. I'm so scared for him. I need him, the boys need him. When I saw him put the gun to his head..'_

For a long time after that he was in constant fear that his dad was going to hurt himself. It had weighed heavily on him, his grades soon started dropping and he had started to withdraw from his friends. It was like a noose around his neck and he was just waiting for the bottom to drop out from under him. It was why he cut class that day and walked the three miles to Al's house.

 _"Max..." Al was shocked, he looked past the young man hoping to see Adam or Kim with him. The look on Max's face was terrifying, it became clear that Max was alone. "What're you doing here? You should be at school."_

 _"I know. I'm scared." His lip quivered._

 _"Come inside. What's going on?" Al took his backpack and dropped it on the table, "you want some soda?"_

 _Max nodded, "Please." He pulled a chair out and sat down heavily. He rested his elbows on the table and buried his face in his hands for a few moments. He was exhausted from the walk, "I know what my dad did."_

 _Al handed him the soda, "Yeah?" He wasn't sure what the kid was talking about, "What'd he do?"_

 _"I know. I heard mom that day. The day she asked you to watch him." Max bit back._

 _Al groaned, "Kid.."_

 _"I'm not a little kid, uncle Al. My dad wanted to die. I'm so scared he will.." he began to unravel, his eyes welled with tears his hands curled into fists "I don't want him to die...don't let him die..please don't let him die.."_

 _Al jumped up and pulled Max into his arms, the boy molded into him clutching handfuls of Al's shirt in his hands._

 _After a few minutes Max calmed a bit, Al held his shoulders "Look at me Max."_

 _Max did as he was told._

 _Al palmed his cheek, "Your dad is okay, he was in a really bad place when that happened. Charlie had just died and your dad was consumed with grief. We all were." Al wiped Max's cheeks, "Your mom saved your dad that day, she was able to get through to him, she got him to see past his grief. Your dad has been in counseling."_

 _"Like me and Caleb?" Max asked. Both boys had gone to therapy in the weeks after Charlie's death, and still attended group therapy once a month._

 _"Yes. Just like you and Caleb. You can help your dad, you know"_

 _"How?"_

 _Al smiled "Love him. Love your mom and love your brother. That's it. That's all you need to do. It's going to take some time but your family is going to be okay pal. I promise."_

 _"I love you uncle Al." Max wrapped his arms around Al's waist._

 _"I love you too kid. How 'bout I take you to the district to see your dad?" Al asked as he grabbed his wallet and keys, "I think you should talk to your dad."_

A fair bit of tears had been shed that day, Adam wasn't proud of how he handled the days immediately after Charlie's death but he was proud of he handled the aftermath, he would do whatever it took to convince Max that he was okay. If that meant continuing with the counseling sessions he would, if it meant taking Max with him he would. He needed his boy to know that he wasn't leaving him, that he would do all he could to protect Max, Caleb and their mother.

Max believed him, and it wasn't long before all of that was put firmly in the past.

Max held his breath as he passed his parents bedroom, the door closed but a sliver of light escaping from beneath it. He tiptoed down the hall and closed his eyes and said a silent prayer that the door wouldn't squeak as he opened it.

Charlie's room.

Nothing about the room had changed in the year since her death. It had become a shrine of sorts, neither Adam or Kim had the mental fortitude to step foot in the room for more than a few moments at a time, packing her things up would be an impossible task.

Max spent a lot of time in her room, he'd sit on the floor and close his eyes and do his best to remember his little sister. He'd lean his head against the wall and close his eyes and if he sat still long enough he'd hear her voice in his head. He lived for those moments, he would remember her giggle. That giggle was contagious, when Charlie laughed they all laughed.

He often would touch some of her things, especially her blanket. It was a light lavender and had a silky border her name intricately stitched on it with grey thread. Max would bury his face in it hoping to catch just a whiff of his sister still on it.

' _Maxie..wanna play dollies..'_

He hated when she asked that, but he did. Not always, and now he wish he had. He'd give anything to hear her ask him that once more. To feel her tug on his hand, to feel her cuddle up beside him as they watched Beauty and the Beast for the millionth time.

 _'I don't like that beast...he's too mean and hairy'_ she'd exclaim as she hid her face in his arm, peeking out from behind his shoulder as she watched.

He could do this for hours. In fact it was exactly what he had done. He watched her as she slept, her hair splayed on in the pillow and the her hands resting under her head.

Peaceful.

She was peaceful and absolutely stunning, they'd had a really rough go of it and it had been ugly some days. They never faltered, they had their fights for sure but when the dust settled they had each other, no matter what. They needed each other to get through the worst year of their life, and they had done it.

They had grown closer, when they didn't think they could be any closer.

They shared a grief that was unimaginable to many, they knew what it was like to lose a part of your soul. To have an empty bedroom, to have an extra chair at the table. Their little girl who had brought so much to their family was gone, leaving their hearts broken. A little girl who had brought them so much joy and laughter, when she left so did the laughter.

Their world grew a bit darker.

Adam ran his knuckles over Kim's cheek lightly, "Darlin', you're so beautiful." He leaned over and kissed her forehead, "I love you." He didn't dare wake her, sleep was still so hard to come by for her that he wanted her to rest. She needed it, she had thrown herself into a thousand different projects she didn't want ' _idle time_ ' she knew with idle time she'd lose herself in grief. So she made sure she had her hands in something, it all involved the boys. She was always volunteering at the school, their sports teams, or just spending the day with the boys. She would spend her nights waiting for Adam to return and then she'd cater him. She'd make him dinner and take care of his laundry, anything to avoid going to bed. That was when she was assaulted with memories of her little girl. They'd crawl into bed together, making love, losing themselves in each other for a little while.

An all too brief respite from the real world.

Adam had been at it for awhile, the current state of the kitchen was a good indicator of that. He had shit everywhere, he was covered in pancake batter and the smell of bacon was in the air. He enjoyed making a big breakfast on the weekend, it had become sort of a Ruzek tradition, it had started just a few weeks after Charlie's death and it had become a weekend staple.

It was bittersweet, but it was important to him and he needed to do it. The boys loved it, so did Kim.

Caleb jumped up on the stool, "Hey daddy. It almost done?"

Adam leaned across the island and kissed his head, "Almost. You sleep well?" Judging by the state of his hair he had. It was standing on end and pointing in a thousand different directions.

"Yep. Can I have some bacon." He leaned on his elbows.

"You can. When it's time, you need to put a shirt on." Adam pointed to his son's bare chest, "you know mom's rule. Shirts on in the kitchen."

Caleb scowled, "You don't got one on."

Adam smirked, "That's because mom doesn't want me to wear one...just you and your brother."

"Why? It's not fair." Caleb grumbled.

Adam leaned his elbows on the island, he touched the center of Caleb's chest with his finger, "Don't tell your mom I told you this...but she thinks I'm sexy. That's why the shirt rule doesn't apply to me. Don't worry Son, when you're a man you won't have to wear a shirt either. You're a Ruzek, the ladies are gonna love you."

Caleb looked disgusted at the mere thought of it, "That's gross, dad."

"It's the truth though, baby." Kim stood behind Caleb and wrapped her arms around him, "Go get dressed and wake your brother up. Tell him it's time for breakfast."

"Okay.." Caleb scampered off.

"Hey you..you slept in." Adam welcomed her in his arms.

"I did. It was nice." She stood on her toes to kiss him, "Breakfast smells amazing" she twisted out of his arms and moved to set the table. "Now, go and get a shirt on Adam."

"What?" Adam scoffed, "You can't mean that..you'll miss out on all this..." he ran his hand up and down his torso.

"Yes. Yes. I know, but seriously go get a shirt. It's rude to be shirtless at the table." Kim shoved him out of the kitchen, laughing as he pouted.

It felt really good to laugh again.

"Caleb, where's Max?" Adam asked as he dished out the food, "Did you wake him up?"

Caleb bit his bottom lip, "No." he refused to meet his father's gaze.

"Bud..go get Max. Tell him his breakfast is gonna get cold." Adam handed Kim her plate, "go on."

"I can't." Caleb replied, "I don't want to do it."

"Why?" Kim ran her fingers through his hair, "Was he mean to you?" Max wasn't exactly a morning person but bacon was a strong motivator, "Did you tell him breakfast was ready."

"I can't." Caleb repeated.

"Why not?" Adam was growing frustrated.

"He isn't in his room."

Kim sat up a bit straighter in the chair, "Well, where is he? The living room?" She peaked out into the room and saw no sign on him, "is he in the game room?" They had converted the office into a game room years ago when the toys became too much in the living room, now it held their video games.

"No."

"Son. What's going on? Where is your brother?" Adam questioned him, his jaw locked and he was suddenly a bit sterner.

"I don't wanna say it." Caleb chewed on his fingers nervously.

Kim softened, "Baby, you can tell us. We're just worried. If you know where Max is you need to tell us."

"I'm scared." He cried.

"You're not in trouble, neither is Max. We just want to know where he is and if he's safe" Kim was focused on keeping calm, inside she was a worried mess. This wasn't like Max, he had only done this once. She hadn't learned of it until after the fact when Adam returned home from work with Max.

"You'll get mad. Dad too." Caleb told them, "He does it all the time. You can't yell at him, if I tell you."

"I won't buddy. I promise. Where'd Max go?" Adam lifted him on the countertop, "Did he go see Uncle Al or Uncle Kevin?"

Caleb shook his head 'no', "He went to Charlie."

Kim gasped, "The park?" They often visited that park, Charlie had loved it so much and they always felt a bit closer to her when they visited.

"No. Her bedroom."

You could've knocked her down with a feather, of all the possible places he could've run off to, that was not one of them.

They hadn't spent much time in Charlie's room and the door remained closed. It was far too painful to go in for more than a minute or two but the thought of cleaning it out was even harder.

So they closed the door.

Ignoring it as best they could. Though every time she passed it she felt her heart cinch up and her stomach dropped, she'd place her palm on it and whisper 'I love you' before continuing on her way.

They had discussed selling the house a few months after Charlie died the memories lurked in every square inch of the house.

 _Where she took her first steps._

 _Where she hit her chin and had her first real 'boo-boo'_

 _Where she peed on the floor._

 _Where she and Adam used to lay on the floor and watched Mickey Mouse._

 _Where they had their 'picnic' dinners when Adam worked late._

They were hard to deal with, they often brought her to her knees. She couldn't fathom a home without those memories, a place where Charlie had never been. In this house she could see Charlie everywhere and as painful as it was..she needed it.

They all did.

"He's in her room?" Adam asked, "how do you know?"

"He goes in there in the morning time..really early. I saw him once when I went to the bathroom. He told me not to tell you. That'd you'd be mad at him, or sad I don't remember which one he 't get mad at him. Please don't get mad. He will hate me!" Caleb sobbed.

Kim held him, "Oh baby. I'm not mad, daddy isn't either."

It was confronting. It was a tough pill to swallow, in the depths of their own grief they ignored the fact that their boys were still grieving. Kids were so resilient and their boys were no different, they seemed happy and content. They laughed easily and never mentioned their sister all that much. They had just assumed their boys were good and they allowed them to continue the status quo. Never realizing that perhaps the boys were following their lead.

"Shit.." Adam mumbled.

"Caleb, baby we're not mad. Not at all. Can you go play for a bit. Let daddy and I talk with Max." Kim rubbed his cheek, "I love you, baby. So much. It's okay."

"Don't tell Max I told you."

"It's alright man. Don't worry" Adam reassured him.

Kim leaned against the counter, as soon as Caleb was out of ear shot she unloaded, "Adam...what've we done? He was so afraid to tell us. How long as this been going on?"

Adam took hold of her hand, "I know as much as you do, darlin'. Let's go talk to our boy."

Kim opened the door gasping when she spotted her son, curled up on the floor clutching his sister's blanket, she swayed a bit. Adam grabbed a hold of her and kissed the back of her head, "I've got you..." he whispered into her hair, "we can do this."

She nodded.

Kim sat down beside a sleeping Max, she touched his forehead "Baby..Max..." she leaned down and kissed him, "Honey, wake up."

Max's eyes flew open, "Mom!" He bolted up, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry I was tired I guess I didn't mean to fall asleep. I will get out..I'm sorry." His eyes wild with fear.

Adam grabbed his hand, "Stop, son. Sit down, it's okay." He sat on the floor beside Kim, Max sat on the floor opposite him, "Buddy it's okay. What's going on? Talk to us."

Max crossed his legs, "I don't know."

Kim shook her head, "Yes you do, how long have you been coming in here?"

Max bit his fingernail, "A long time. Not every day. Just when I can't sleep."

Adam nodded his head, "When was the first time?"

"After the funeral. It's stupid."

Kim grabbed his hand, "No! It's not. Don't say that. How come you didn't want us to know?"

Max's eyes darted between them, "I didn't want to make you sad. I know you don't want anyone in here or for us to talk about her. So I snuck in that first time..but it was nice. I liked being in here. It helps me remember Charlie." He looked at his feet, "I don't want to forget her."

It was like a knife to their hearts, they had inadvertently led their sons to believe that they couldn't talk about their sister. Their own grief had blinded them to their sons grief and desire to hold on to their little sister's memory.

"I'm so sorry Max. I hate that you thought you couldn't talk about your sister with us. It's hard for your mom and I. We miss her so much, so much that it hurts to breathe some times. We should've handled it better, I'm sorry for that."

Kim hugged him, "Max, baby. I love you so much, I'm so sorry. I want us to talk about Charlie, I want us to remember her. I want us to laugh again, okay?" She wiped her eyes, and then Max's, "the door stays open from now on. You can come in here whenever you want okay? Somedays I may not want to talk about Charlie, but that doesn't mean you can't. You can come in here whenever you want..okay?"

"Thanks mom." Max held the blanket in his hands.

"You can have that" she pointed to the blanket in his hands, "I think Charlie would want you to have it."

He moved to wrap his arms around Kim's neck, "Thank you mom. I love you so much."

They spent the rest of the day and weekend together. They turned their phones off and circled the wagons a bit, they reminded their boys how much they loved them. They spent hours talking about Charlie and their favorite memories of her, they laughed and they cried.

Later that night, Kim had cried in Adam's arms. He held on to her as she sobbed and when her breathing returned to normal and her tears dried, he made love to her.

For the first time in a year Kim slept soundly. There was no tossing and turning, no sleeping pills.

Nothing.

She had found some semblance of peace.

Max had unknowingly given his parents the push they needed, they had been consumed by their grief that they refused to move on.

They needed to move on, they had feared that moving on would leave Charlie behind, Max and Caleb both had shown them that they could take Charlie with them.

That she'd always be with them.

They had learned it would always hurt, no matter how many years had passed they'd still miss her. Their hearts forever broken but they had learned to live with the pain.

They began to live again.

Ten years had gone by in the blink of an eye, the boys had grown into fine young men. Caleb was a senior in high school, a gifted student and athlete. He had offers from a dozen university spread far and wide, Kim was hoping he'd stick close to home.

Max had just turned twenty-two and was accepted into the police academy, he was hoping to land in the 21st and was desperate to work in Intelligence. He had hoped he'd get to work with his dad before he retired in just a few years.

They had been blown away by Max and his fiancé Samantha's big news, they were going to be grandparents. The timing wasn't the best but some things came at the worst times, and while Adam was still struggling with the idea of being a 'grandpa' Kim couldn't wait to be a 'grandma'. The baby was due in just a few weeks and Kim was beside herself with excitement. They had kept the baby's gender a secret and Kim changed her mind on a daily basis on what she wanted them to have, she had finally given up and decided all she wanted was a healthy baby. She didn't care what the gender was, Adam of course wanted a boy, they had to keep 'the Ruzek name alive' after all.

The phone call had come in the early hours of the morning, Max was a nervous wreck. Kim and Adam raced to the hospital and paced the halls of the waiting room for what felt like an eternity.

It had only been six hours, it seemed the newest Ruzek was in a hurry.

"Mom, Dad" Max greeted them a massive smile plastered on his face, "the baby is here come on up" his hands still shaking a bit.

Kim was biased she knew that but she was beyond proud of her eldest son, he had matured into a really good man, she knew that if he was just half the father that Adam was he'd be an amazing daddy.

"Boy or girl!" Kim grabbed his arm.

Max laughed, "Can't tell you, Ma. Samantha made me promise, come on up." He wrapped an arm around her, "it's a healthy baby, I can tell you that much. Eight pounds seven ounces."

Adam clapped his son on the back, at some point over the last few years he had surpassed him in height, just by an inch or two but it was a fact Max never let go, "That's a nice size. Congratulations son."

"Thanks dad."

Samantha was mesmerized by the newborn in her arms, a head full of soft brown hair, long slender fingers and the cutest little nose she had ever laid eyes on. She had ran her finger down the slope of the baby's nose laughing when the baby scrunched its face up, almost as if she had disturbed it.

Max opened the door for his mother, "Sammy, my parents are here."

"Come in, come meet your grand-baby" Samantha smiled at her future in-laws. She knew she was lucky, she absolutely adored them. She and Kim had hit it off from the start and she loved the bond Adam and Max had.

"Oh my goodness.." Kim squealed, "This is the cutest baby ever. Look Adam..." she gushed, "may I?" She held her arms out.

"Of course" Samantha carefully transferred the baby into Kim's arms, "Pure perfection, isn't it?"

Adam stood beside Kim and looked down at the baby, "Well?"

"Well what?" Max asked him, "It's a baby dad. I'm pretty sure you know how they come about. If you don't I'm sure mom will tell you later." He smirked.

"Funny. Smart Ass" Adam rolled his eyes, "Boy or girl?"

Samantha smiled, "Tell them."

Max sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed her hand, needing a bit of her strength. He had already broken down once in her arms and he really wanted to hold it together now, "Well, you've got a grandson."

"I knew it!" Adam gloated, puffing his chest out a bit, "He's a handsome boy. Just like his daddy and his Pops." He had finally decided on what he wanted to be called, Pops it was.

"We've gone back and forth on names for weeks, we had a few names for boys and girls that we liked but nothing that really stuck with us. That all changed a few weeks ago." He took a deep breath, "We wanted a name with meaning, a name he could be proud of. I think we found that."

He watched as his parents looked lovingly at his son, "His name is Adam..." he paused as his dad finally took his eyes off the baby.

"Are you serious?" Adam asked, tears filled his eyes, "Adam?"

"Don't get too excited, we aren't calling him by that name though." He went to his mother's side and took hold of his son's foot, "His full name is Adam Charlie Ruzek, we're gonna call him Charlie."

Kim brought her hand to her mouth, "Charlie?"

"Yeah. I want to honor Charlie's memory, I think she would like that. I hope you like it."

Kim handed the baby to Samantha and hugged Max, "I love it. I love him. I love you." She cried, "I love you too, Sam"

"I love you guys, I wish I had the privilege of knowing your Charlie. Max loved her dearly and I know our Charlie will know all about his Aunt Charlie."

Adam hugged Max, "You've got no idea how much this means to your mother and I. This is amazing, bud."

Life had dealt them a shitty hand, it had robbed them of their precious daughter, stolen a sister from their sons. It had also taught them to never take a moment for granted, to stop what you were doing and just appreciate the little moments. It taught them to love without abandon, to never expect tomorrow.

Sometimes tomorrow never came.

They're family had lost beautiful and precious soul, one that was irreplaceable but Kim couldn't help but think her sweet Charlotte had a hand in sending them their sweet grandson Charlie,

It was why Kim had given Max the blanket that had belonged to Charlotte. The blanket that Max had slept with ever since they found him asleep in Charlotte's room.

Kim had gone over to visit just a few weeks after Charlie was born.

"Hey Mom." Max kissed her cheek, looking more than a little tired, "Charlie's asleep. He should be home in a little while to eat. You're welcome to stay, I know Sammy would love it."

Kim chewed nervously on the inside of her cheek, "I've got to meet your dad for dinner. I actually came to see you. It'll just take a few minutes." She had tucked the blanket in her purse, "I've got something for you...and Charlie"

"You're spoiling him mom. You don't need to bring something every visit."

"Stop. It's my job to spoil him," Kim opened her purse, "This isn't like that though. I had this thought, I found it when I was going through some of the things we kept when you and your brother were little. This was in one of your backpacks" she pulled it out. It was a little battered, the color had faded some and the edges a bit frayed.

Max was shocked, "Charlie's blanket. She loved this thing, I remember she'd bring it everywhere. Screamed her head off when you would wash it." Instinctively he brought it to his nose, the scent of his sister no longer clung to the blanket. It was enough knowing that she had touched it and loved it. "I can't take this mom, you love it."

Kim grew a bit weepy, she had promised herself she wouldn't cry. That was a joke, she was going to cry and that was okay, "Take it. I want you to have it..well, I want your Charlie-boy to have it. I think Charlotte would want him to have it. Please, Max. Take it." She choked on her tears just a bit, she used the nickname Adam had given their grandson.

"Wow, Mom. Thank you so much, Charlie will love it. I'm going to tell him all about his aunt."

"I'm counting on that. Kiss Charlie-boy for me, and kiss him for your sister too." Kim placed her palm against his cheek, "I love you."

"I love you too Mom."

Kim took a few minutes to compose herself before pulling away from the curb.

She had felt a bit lighter in the days since Charlie-Boy was born, nothing would replace her little girl, but her grandson had filled that hole in her heart just a little bit.

 _Well, I know this wasn't the easiest story to read but I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I promise to give you some rainbows and gum drops should I write something else._


End file.
